One of the hardest things we face as queer and trans people is the desire for validation from those who will never fully understand us. Whether it’s family, friends, or society at large, we’ve been conditioned to seek approval from people who, no matter how much they say they support us, still see us through the lens of heteronormative and cisnormative expectations.
It’s exhausting, this constant push and pull of wanting to be seen, wanting to be loved for who we are, but feeling like we have to perform some version of ourselves to get that approval. So we shrink ourselves. We edit our identities. We quiet the parts of us that don’t fit into the boxes we’ve been given. But the truth is, no amount of shrinking will ever make us feel whole. No amount of performing will ever satisfy the craving for real, unconditional love.
It’s time to stop looking for approval from the wrong people and start finding love where it truly exists—within ourselves and in the communities that see us, understand us, and love us without condition.
